Holy_Donut
Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 837
Location: Timbuktu.
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 Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:42 pm Post subject: Holy Donut's Media Review of Day of the Dead |
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Holla at ya, it's back baby.
Day of the Dead is the third and final film in the trilogy of George A Romero's 'Dead' films. Apparently, I've only ever seen this and Dawn of the Dead, so eh.
The film is set in a military base that is sunk deep into the underground. There is the main complex, with research labs for SCIENCE! and caves. These caves look suspiciously like the caves from Moonraker. I think they're the same.
Anyway, I missed the first 15 minutes as I was watching Crimson Tide with Denzel Washington, which is a much better film.
The characters in order of which I wrote silly asides for them:
Some of these names aren't the names from the film, I forgot them, didn't notice them or whatever, so made new ones.
KOONTZ: The generic gun-happy military type, he's a Captain, and comes from New York. BROOKLYN RAGE!
STEEL: A boisterous viking type soldier. He has an important role later which I'll explain later.
RICKLES: Steel's mate. Nothing else to say.
SARAH: The lady scientist, spends a lot of time being ineffective. Can't administer sedatives to save her life.
KLEINER: Generic scientist. Does nothing the entire film except storm out of a room looking annoyed.
MAHATMA: Big beard, big hair, is going nuts from stress. Well you would wouldn't you?
FRANKENSTEIN: Mad scientist type, spends a lot of time cutting zombies up. He has a tendency to speak. Like. William. Shatner.
BILL: An odd one. His accent in his first scene is distinctly American, then it's English from about 5 minutes, but the rest of the film it's Irish. I don't get it. Anyway, he's aging, alcoholic, and I suspect a homosexual.
LITTLE FREEMAN: The black guy. Speaks like Little Jacob, looks like Morgan Freeman. Wise, and can fly a helicopter. For some reason he does a long speech that is essentially "Ire, s'all pointless seen?"
And BUB: Bub is a zombie. Say hello Bub.
He's a smart zombie, and is nice. He doesn't eat people essentially. Frankenstein trained him.
Note: Bub's a fucking badass.
Anyway, first scene I saw, Steel, Sarah, Rickles and Mahatma are out in the caves going zombie-catching. Frankenstein needs them. For SCIENCE!
This scene sets out two things. Steel's a dick, and Mahatma is useless. That's it.
Anyway, Sarah takes Mahatma off to the med bay to try and calm him down. Her idea of administering a sedative is to jab him in the shoulder blade with it. Surprisingly, as she missed all the veins in the body, and most likely hit bone, Mahatma doesn't feel the effects.
Next scene of interest: A meeting between all the characters, excluding Mahatma and Frankenstein. This scene sets out that Koontz is mental, the military are bored and Steel's real purpose.
Steel, is Koontz's posse. Koontz says "This is my operation since Major Cooper died." Steel shouts out (off-screen) "Fuckin' A!". Koontz says "I ain't getting paid enough to work in this nut house!" Steel shouts out (off-screen) "I ain't gettin' paid at all!"
And from this scene, I'm assuming, Sarah is supposed to be having it off with Mahatma when she feels like it. Consider the 45,728 the military characters refer to it, leading the camera to do a cut to an annoyed looking Sarah.
Anyway, blah blah blah, some boring stuff of no consequence happens, Frankenstein shows Bub to Sarah and Kleiner, we see Bill and Little Freeman live with each other out in the caves, further raising my assumptions they're gay.
Frankenstein shows Bub to Koontz, and it turns out that Bub used to be in the military, as he can use a gun, and salutes Koontz. You know zombies remember their past lives? Yeah, that's what Romero says.
So, back at the barricade, catching more zombies for Frankenstein. This scene is where the film inexplicably introduces 'The Twins'. Two soldiers who look exactly the same.
Both of them die in this scene, it should be mentioned.
The restraints holding a zombie break, and she bites Twin #1, he falls, firing his gun, which shreds Twin #2. Mahatma get's his arm bitten, then runs off going "Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!" Sarah runs after him, and he ends up at Little Freeman's and Bill's love shack, where Sarah hits him on the head with a rock.
Then cuts his arm off.
Then burns the stump.
Military turn up, wanting to kill Mahatma, and Steel says that Mahatma is hispanic. But he's not. He's clearly Israeli in origin. After a stand off, Koontz drags Steel away saying they have better things to do. No they don't they said they were bored earlier.
Koontz is a liar.
Bill and Sarah go off to find some medical stuff for Mahatma, and stumble into Frankenstein's lab. They activate a tape recorder, and it turns out Frankenstein is talking to his Mother all the time. That's right. The guy who chops up zombies is mad.
Plot twist.
Bill and Sarah go to find him for some reason, and watch him as he talks to Bub. Turns out Bub likes listening to Ode to Joy by Beethoven
Hee hee, that was like punching Beethoven in the face.
Koontz bursts in as Frankenstein is feeding Bub something. Turns out it's people. Koontz's people.
Koontz doesn't like this, so he points his masha-goonz at Frankstein.
Frankenstein says, "You have to listen to me!"
Koontz replys, "Listen to this."
Then fires about 100 rounds from his M16 into Frankenstain. In one clip.
Koontz flips out, takes the scientists hostage, then goes to threaten Little Freeman into doing what he wants. Which is fly a helicopter for them. TO do this, Koontz kills Kleiner (meh, he didn't do anything) then pushes Bill and Sarah out past the barricade, where some zombies are.
This is an odd way for a military man to kill someone, as it's fraught with holes. What if they run? Or climb back over? It also doesn't help Koontz, as Little Freeman won't fly unless Bill and Sarah are safe.
Koontz is a moron.
So Koontz just tries getting Steel to punch Little Freeman about a bit. This doesn't work either.
Koontz is a moron. How did this man become a Captain?
Mahatma (sans arm) runs away, he gets on the lift to the surface and breaks the controls to lower it again from below.
Bill and Sarah are running through zombie-infested caves, and find a plank of wood and a spade. Bill kills a zombie with the spade, but DOESN'T say "Dig this." Disappointment.
A beaten-up Little Freeman knocks out Koontz and one of his lackeys, and takes their guns.
Koontz is a moron, and useless.
Now, Little Freeman goes looking for Bill and Sarah in the caves. Bill kills another zombie with a spade. Again, fails to say "Dig this." Disappointment.
Meanwhile, Mahatma, for reasons unknown, lets the zombie hordes into the base perimeter from the surface. He lies down on the lift, before activating it while being eaten. One of the zombies is a clown.
Lol, clown-zombie.
So, zombies are in the base. Dun dun duuuunnnnn.
Koontz has a golf-cart, which he drives to very dramatic music. He runs a zombie over with it. Still pretty useless.
Bub manages to get out of his chains, and finds Frankenstein dead. He's pissed. Now it's time for Zombie-Vengeance baby! Bub finds some guns. Look out, here comes the Drama-train. Gonna run you over baby.
So now we get to watch the soldiers getting owned, and I notice something. Zombies, for some reason, appear to have the ability to pull humans apart as if they were made from film-grade prosthetics. Humans aren't easy to pull apart, try it, I'll wait.
Ho hum.
Waiting.....
And you're back, next business.
Lol, zombie with fishing rod.
Steel is running around panicking. He one-ups Koontz by firing around 200 bullets from one M16 clip before running out of ammo. Remember that. Now, he hammers on a door, but it's locked. And WITHOUT RELOADING, Steel puts another 50 shots into the door to blow it open.
What.
Anyway, he finds no escape, surrounded by zombies, shoots self.
Little Freeman finds Bill and Sarah, and he gives them an Uzi and another M16. They fire 40,000 bullets between them, from a clip each.
Alright, has the US Army been bumming around with Dr. Who or something? Have they got TARDIS clips? Look like regular clips on the outside but if you look inside you realize they are too big for for your puny human to comprehend, and the sight burns itself into your very soul, causing you to lose your mind?
Koontz is running around in the military complex getting some guns. Bub turns up. Bub shoots Koontz. Twice. With a pistol.
Koontz, a US Army captain, armed with an M16 and TARDIS clips, is out shot by a zombie with a pistol.
Bub shows how badass he is, he shoots Koontz in the lung so he can't scream, salutes him, then walks off as Koontz is eaten by zombie hordes.
Now, Koontz somehow regains his ability to talk to redeem all his uselessness with one line. As the zombies munch on his gizzards, he shouts "Choke on 'em!". He is referring to his intestines. I mean come on, that's pretty cool.
As with most old zombie films, there is now a long and unnecessary sequence of zombies eating. There is no point to it. Nothing happens. It's just people in make-up pretending to eat plastic with red on it.
The film ends with Bill, Little Freeman and Sarah escaping in the helicopter to a desert island, and Sarah looks on while Bill and Little Freeman frolic.
No closure. Who the fuck needs closure? This film had Bub. Bub is kickass.
But Donut, what of the message? I hear you say. Most zombie films have a message! (Dawn of the Dead original = Consumerism, Shaun of the Dead = Pubs are safe, Dawn of the Dead remake = remakes are shit). I think, in this one at least, it's about religion. Frankenstein was trying to condition the zombies to behave, like religion tries to. And it makes Bub, who is a sweet, albeit dead, man, into a vengeance driven killer.
That, or it's about zombies.
I'll go with the latter to be honest.
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